UPDATE: Unemployed 39-year-old wife orders $1176 worth of takeout in a month, her working husband cuts her off from their finances: 'I told her she could eat any of the food we have in our fridge'

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    ALIGRAMA
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    Update: I cut my wife off from our finances because she wouldn't stop ordering takeout
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    Nine days ago, I made a post about how my unemployed wife had spent $1,176 on delivery apps in just a month. This is egregiously outside of what we can afford to spend on takeout, and since she didn't seem willing to stop, I canceled our credit card and moved the money from our joint account into my own.
  • 04
    For the following few days, my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. She threw several tantrums despite apparently being severely malnourished, threatened divorce, threw a bunch of the food we had in the fridge away to try and strongarm me into letting her get takeout, and even tried to guess my bank account password a bunch of times (sorry my password isn't Taco Bell123). That last one was how I learned if you try to guess someone's bank account password enough times, the b
  • 05
    But last Friday, the complaints and threats stopped. She seemed mostly back to normal. I figured she had given up. That was until today, which was garbage day. When I took the last bag out before taking the bin down to the curb, I discovered half a dozen fast food bags and other takeout containers in it.
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    My wife wasn't supposed to have access to money. I had no idea how she was affording the food. I confronted her about it, and first she denied everything. I had to bring all of her fast food garbage in to get her to fess up: she had taken out a loan. Now, I thought that she had borrowed money from a friend or family member. But she had taken out one of those predatory payday loans.
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    Before you ask, no, I have NO IDEA how she was approved. Within the next hour, I froze my credit. I then drove her to the payday loan place, where I paid the loan off in cash. I will now have to dip further into my savings to pay the rent.
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    I suppose in a certain way, cutting her off was successful. She didn't order takeout anymore. She just drove to the restaurants to pick up her food, for the low low price of $20 for every $100 she borrowed, or $60 in fees in total. In addition, I told her that we would be getting divorced. So yeah. My marriage is over. I don't even know what alimony laws in my state are like, but I assume she'll happily live in a cardboard box under a bridge if Uber Eats will bring her food there.
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    Aegon2050 I think divorce is the best course of action here. She needs professional help but that's not your problem anymore. I'm glad you took steps to protect yourself financially. Sadly there is just fundamentally something wrong with her and soon she'll self destruct, starting with the divorce.
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    Careful_Credit_4645 OP When I paid off the payday loan, I decided that would be the last thing I ever did for her. It was far more than she deserved. My sister has been addicted to heroin for over 20 years. I haven't talked to her in about a decade, but this was the kind of that she would pull. I remember how she and her loser boyfriend would steal from my room to so they could buy more drugs, and I honestly wouldn't put it past my wife at this point to start selling my things so she could buy m
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    I'm sorry. I'm just so furious. As I worked every day, my wife sat around ordering takeout and living like a queen, and when the (almost literal) gravy train stopped, she decided to imperil our financial future for more food. And my God, she has gotten so fat. She's basically waddling around like a penguin now.
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    But what really me off is that after taking out that payday loan, instead of putting it into a new account to order takeout, she went to the restaurant drive-throughs. It was almost as if she wanted to stretch it to last for as long as possible, which wasn't an issue when it was money that I earned. She knew that the payday loan was probably a one- time hail Mary, so she actually, in her own twisted little way, tried to exercise financial responsibility.
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    People in the last post yelled at me for not communicating. We had fought about this dozens of times. Every time the credit card bill rolled in, I would tell her she needed to stop, that we were losing everything because of her habit. I told her again and again and again, but she didn't give a She needed more of that garbage.
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    I honestly don't give a . If she's depressed, I don't care. If she's agoraphobic (which I doubt), I don't care. She has never shown even the slightest bit of remorse. Eventually even my sister with her heroin-addled brain apologized for stealing my GameCube. My wife couldn't even do that. She's a lazy piece of faking a disability, and people were blaming me as if that absolved her of all wrongdoing. If it makes me an , fine. I'm not up the rest of my life because some dimwitted sloth with a dlsA
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    بعاد Aegon2050 You are right to be angry. We are here to validate you. Don't read the loser comments here that say otherwise. She made her bed, and now she can sleep in it. Some people just don't deserve our empathy, compassion, and, frankly, our energy. Good riddance, OP!
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    ay_laluna I'm sorry to read this update, OP. Given that she risked tanking her credit for something as dumb as a payday loan, it seems like this might be about more than takeout, and could indicate a deeper emotional problem for her. I hope that she addresses it before her life unravels, and that you find some peace after the separation.
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    Careful_Credit_4645 OP I honestly don't even care about her anymore. I'm actually kind of happy about the payday loan. You see, I read through every comment in the last post. All of them. And I tried to understand her feelings. People kept telling me that she had mental health issues, or that she needed therapy. I did my best to understand, and I was actually going to start giving her $300 of prepaid credit card spending money every month as was suggested.
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    Could we typically afford $300/month on her takeout? Not really, no. But it would have been something for her to look forward to. Now all I can think is that with her issues, she was allowed to be as self-centered as she wanted. But when was it going to be my turn to have something for myself? My work boots have a giant hole in them that I've duct-taped closed twice, and that $1,176 would have bought me the best work boots out there.
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    perseidot When did this start? Was there any sort of precipitating event? There is clearly something very wrong with her, but I wouldn't even hazard a guess about what she might be diagnosed with. Even a binge eating disorder doesn't entirely fit, because she's so specific about fast food, rather than any available food. Regardless, mentally ill and addicted people have to take responsibility for managing their illnesses to the best of their ability. She's not asking for help, or putting in any
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    Throwing out good food and pretending low blood sugar to force you to let her get takeout is just wild. The payday loan is next level. I think divorce is the only option, and I'm so sorry. But if she was this fixated on heroin or alcohol, anyone could see you'd need to get out. The fact that she's fixated on fast food takeout doesn't change her behavior. It's a bizarre situation she's in.
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    CptnHnryAvry My ex girlfriend was similar. I think it was eating combined with unwillingness to cook (probably also related). She was always bad about spending (my) money, but went through a series of job losses (pretty much entirely self caused) and got terrible. Lying about having groceries then demanding I order doordash, repeatedly "accidentally" using my credit card, and taking on a ton
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    of credit card debt to keep doordashing multiple meals a day. I frequently spent more money on 6 days' of visiting with her than the entire rest of the month. The last year we were together, I spent more on doordash than on rent. I'd bet the lack of working contributes to the mental health issues that make something like this seem okay. You can spiral pretty badly when you don't feel like you have any purpose.

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